To My Sweet Baby Sister (August 12―November 3)

August 12

To: Kaoru

Hey hey hey, it’s me again.

I was slightly shocked that you wrote back so quickly. Are you really still mad about the pool thing? How many years has it been? And I didn’t do it for no reason, you know. You know the saying about lions testing their cubs by pushing them off a cliff? That’s what I was doing, except, you know, I pushed you into the municipal pool. Pulling blubbering little sisters from the pool, and treating them to a mint chocolate chip ice cream cone while they give you the silent treatment is a time-honoured tradition. I definitely gave you that ice cream cone. Don’t even try to tell me you don’t remember.

Midsummer at the beach is definitely not the same as midsummer in Kyoto. Whenever I get tired of the endless research at the lab, I go outside and take a stroll along the beach, sipping a refreshing Calpis. The seagulls screech, the waves crash, and the cicadas chirrup in the lush shrine wood that lies beside the sea. During the day the sun is searing, but at night the breeze is cool.

That reminds me; last month I went to Wakura Onsen with Taniguchi and we stayed up talking all night. It was a productive discussion that touched upon not just our research, but life and the future of the globe. It’s a wonderful thing to look up to someone. You ought to find someone to look up to, too. In fact you never know when you might be talking to just such a person, but as your brother is a humble man I will say no more.

Mom and dad worry about me way more than they need to. And dad holds way more family councils than he needs to. Stop having heated debates about my future at family councils without me! Tell mom and dad they’ve got nothing to worry about. Mention what a distinguished scholar I am, how I’ve started looking for jobs, how early I get up every morning, so on and so forth. Tell dad to put his head down and work on his autobiography, and remind mom that she has tai chi classes to attend.

You’ve got to wake up early during summer. Lately I’ve been getting up at 6 every morning to go for a walk in the mountains. It’s important to build good habits early. I have an idiot of a friend who just couldn’t drag himself out of bed and ended up wasting four years of research trying to develop a foolproof method of getting up, but as far as I’m concerned all you need for an early start is good habits and lots of willpower. I find that my mind is clear and refreshed in the morning; I recommend you get into the habit of taking early morning walks too. It’s such a waste to snooze your mornings away.

The moral of today’s episode is, the early bird gets the worm.

I won’t be back for Obon, but I might be coming back for a weekend sometime this month. Stop wasting time with the Morimi Tomihiko fanclub and all those other things, and start hitting the books.

Ichirō

August 27

To: Morita Kaoru

I’m back safe and sound in Noto. But it was a bittersweet return to Kyoto, seeing as the only thing you said to me was, “You’re dead to me.” Yet there was no way I could have avoided that.

I would never have imagined that the All-Japan Maidens’ Society was actually a coven of female Morimi Tomihiko fans. I would never have imagined that it consisted of Ibuki, Saegusa, and you. And I would never, ever have imagined that you all would show up at the lab that night.

I know you’re disappointed in me, but what you saw was just one part of your multifaceted big brother. I admit that I participated in that idiocy of my own accord, but let the record show that I only did it for Komatsuzaki’s sake. I would tell you exactly how it was supposed to benefit Komatsuzaki, but since I can already hear you splitting hairs and calling me an idiot I will refrain.

I don’t regret anything. Even I have the right to act like a fool sometimes.

I shall nobly suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. I ask only in return that you give me my due respect.

And stop holding those family councils. Dad has a big enough head as it is.

Your brother

September 25

To: To a future astronaut

It’s me. I suppose summer too must come to an end.

I’m sorry it took me so long to write back. I ran into a complication with my experiments, which has kept me very busy. But it’s over and done with now, so there’s no cause for alarm. Now that my research has entered its final stages, it shouldn’t be much longer until I’m back in Kyoto.

Despite your concern, the Titty Incident didn’t happen because I was coming to the end of my tether or anything like that. Even I have hopes and dreams, you know. In fact I even have a girlfriend. I just didn’t want to tell you and mom and dad because I knew that you’d start bombarding me with questions. I don’t know where you get the impression that I was going stir-crazy being all alone up here, but I can assure you that I’m perfectly happy. This lab here at the Noto Peninsula is the most liberating environment I could ask for. My research is going to change the world. The future couldn’t be brighter.

Please stop bringing up things that happened in middle school. I’d completely forgotten about my first crush until now. And I wasn’t crying; the smoke from the fire was making me tear up, that’s all. I don’t know why you had to call the fire department, but in the end I still look back on that incident fondly. It taught me that you shouldn’t just burn unsent letters in the heat of the moment.

It makes me wonder, though: if you’re so concerned about me, why didn’t you call me when you came up to Hakui last weekend? A bunch of people from my lab came to Kanazawa back in June, but did they visit the lab? No. Et tu, baby sister? Here I am! I’m right here!

I’m glad that you enjoyed the space museum. I went to Hakui myself to look for UFOs, but there were none to be found. I thought you were joking when you brought it up, but it sounds like you really do want to become an astronaut. Now that I think about it you always did like climbing up to high places when you were little. I’m so proud to have a little sister who’s venturing into outer space. We ought to pool our efforts and become cosmic siblings.

On a completely different and punier note, as of today Komatsuzaki is a fully-fledged member of the Noto-Kashima Marine Biological Laboratory. He’ll only be here for three weeks to help collect samples. Unlike my Nobel-worthy thesis, the Marshmallow Man’s thesis is destined for the dustbin of the lab archives, if he finishes it at all. But he’s an old battle buddy of mine, and since he saw me off at the station when I left Kyoto I least owe it to him to see him off at the station in Nanao.

Till next time,

Your brother

October 15

To: Kaoru

O sister of mine, I feel the departure of summer deep within my bones.

So you did well on the national mock entrance exams. But don’t rest easy just yet.

Last weekend Komatsuzaki and I rode the Noto Railway all the way to the end of the line, Anamizu. There’s an emergency telephone inside Noto-Kashima Station that connects directly to Anamizu Station, and every morning when I got off the train I used to look at the phone inside the deserted station building and wonder what Anamizu Station was like. It turns out Anamizu Station is a stately building that even has station attendants. But it’s a lonely place in autumn. Komatsuzaki and I went into a general store, and as we idly browsed the shelves I enjoyed that feeling of melancholy. Feeling melancholy in autumn is the mark of a gentleman.

The entire time Komatsuzaki was here he wouldn’t stop pining over Saegusa. I’ve never seen someone so whipped.

By the way, while we were waiting at Noto-Kashima Station for the train, I saw a round, mysterious object whizzing over Nanao Bay about 20 meters above the water. It was too dark for me to get a good look, but the way it was flying definitely seemed unnatural. I’ve never seen anything glide through the air like that. Personally I think it was a UFO, what about you?

Now that I’ve spotted a UFO, and I’ve amassed a trove of experimental data, I can say goodbye to this place without regrets. After talking it over with Taniguchi and my lab head it’s been decided that I’ll be going back to Kyoto at the beginning of next month, so tell dad and mom. Dad will probably have wrapped up his autobiography by then, so we can celebrate together. I was dumbfounded when I heard that he based it on his love letters to mom. Knowing dad I’m not surprised that he wrote 500 of them, just like I’m not surprised that mom held on to every single one. Talk about mushy. What he said―“My entire past is in those letters”―touched me deeply. I’m still disappointed that he wasn’t a spy after all, though. Say goodbye to the bestseller list.

I can’t end this letter without asking about the poem(?) with which you ended yours.

Even after writing it out again I still don’t get it. Is this supposed to be me? I guess this is how you saw me when you were little. It may be a little hard to stomach, but now that I’m all grown up I’m humble enough to admit my past shortcomings. You hinted that it’s a riddle that has to do with someone very important to me, so I’ve read it over and over but still can’t make heads or tails of it.

I need to wrap up my research before I return to Kyoto, so I’ve got to get back to work, but I’ll write again once I decipher it.

Good day to you, sister.

Your brother

October 20

I just figured it out. The first letter in each word spells out Natsuko. Why would you send me this? What’s your game? Your brother

November 3

To: My sweet baby sister

The leaves of the forest behind Noto-Kashima are changing their hue. When I first came here there was a tunnel of cherry blossoms, but now it feels as though the cheer has gone.

My return to Kyoto draws nigh. Last weekend Taniguchi took me tearing across the peninsula to Koiji Beach in his beloved old beater. Tomorrow I’m thinking of going to the Notojima Aquarium to say goodbye to those cosmically charming dolphins.

Preparations are going swimmingly. After doing some packing today, I visited Minowa Books. It was drizzling, and when I reached the cheerless shopping arcade the candle and futon stores were deserted. But at the bookstore the 80-year-old owner was sitting behind the register as he always did.

“I’m going back to Kyoto the day after tomorrow,” I told him. “I’m sorry to see you go,” he said with a genteel smile. He looked just like grandpa. He’s the reason I always had a movie to put on at home on rainy days. I got “Apollo 13” as a souvenir for you; keep it around in case you ever need it.

I stopped by the Mister Donut across from the station for what I figure is the last time. I sat down with a cup of coffee, my face turning a shade of crimson as I re-read your letter. And now I’m sitting there penning this reply to you.

Ibuki Natsuko was a colleague of mine at the lab. Instead of pursuing graduate studies she got a job in Osaka. I haven’t spoken to her in a while.

I’m frankly appalled that Morimi is reporting every move I make to you. I can’t believe he’s such a snitch. You say it’s just proof of how much he loves me, but friendly concern or not, how could he write about Ibuki and me in a letter back to a fan? It’s a violation of my privacy.

But forget it. I’m done with the duplicity. I don’t know how much you really know, but I can’t go on with this charade. As a cosmic sibling I can’t have this doing any more damage to my big-brotherly dignity. So I’m just going to come right out with the truth.

As you’ve guessed, and as mom and dad feared, I have absolutely no idea what to do with my life. My research isn’t that impressive at all. In fact, at the lab I’m top of the class when it comes to disappointing expectations. I need to face reality. As Taniguchi said to me, this isn’t the place for me, and I should look for my path elsewhere. But it’s not too late for me. I can’t run away now. If I do that, I will double the danger. Remember Churchill?

Drill instructor Taniguchi never thought much of me, in fact he called me a “downright ignoramus”. But that was probably a blessing in disguise. It’s better that someone told me straight up that I didn’t belong.I owe him a lot. He took me to Wakura Onsen, the Shimamura fashion center, and even Koiji Beach way out at the tip of the peninsula. Yes, he’s probably overly obsessed with enhancing his virility, and yes, he might have a foul mouth, and yes, his face looks downright villainous, but deep down he’s got a heart of gold.

It’s been tough here at the lab these past six months, but it’s been just as tough undergoing my letter-writing boot camp.

I’ve written almost one hundred letters. That’s a fifth of the number of letters dad wrote mom over their thirty-year marriage, in just six months. If I keep it up I’ll surpass dad in no time.

You might be wondering why I started writing to you. Well you see, sometimes I just get the urge to project a reliable-big-brother image, like the kind of big brother you can be proud of. I never got the impression that you had much respect for me, so I tried to convey that image in my writing, but I’ve learned a painful lesson: the harder you try to force someone to respect you, the faster that respect evaporates. See? I’m the type of big brother that learns from his mistakes. That deserves some respect.

You may think now that all those letters I wrote to you were a joke, but make no mistake: among the lies were scattered grains of truth. Which were lies and which were truth? I’ll leave that exercise to you.

I get the feeling that I didn’t need to write all this in a letter. But at the same time I get the feeling that writing what you don’t really need to write is also part of writing a letter. It doesn’t matter whether you write something or not; in the end, that’s what human relationships are all about. I feel like I just came up with a really deep quote there, but you’re my sister, so be honest: was that deep?

I’m so grateful to everyone who’s humoured me in this letter writing exercise. As you say, the fact that I’ve been able to keep up with all these correspondences is nothing to sneeze at. That’s very astute of you to notice, very good. I knew we were related. There’s no way my sister wouldn’t turn out to be a genius.

I’ve been thinking about Ibuki. As much as it pains me to admit it, it’s really just a crush. You don’t think love letters would do any good, but here’s what I’ve devised. It’s both a conservative strategy, and a bold time at the same time.

I’m thinking about the time you called the fire department on me when I burned a bunch of unsent love letters back in middle school. I decided then that there was nothing to do but go down with the ship. When dad asked me what I was burning at the family meeting, I couldn’t just say that I’d been burning love letters, and you’d seen the tears streaming down my face (remember, the smoke just got in my eyes).

I look back fondly on that memory now.

Well, Kyoto here I come.

Your brother